plain dealer charity shoe toss

2008 (c) Copyright. Mark Stueve. All Rights Reserved.

Plain Dealer Editorial humorist, Kevin O'Brien, has volunteered in the spirit of holiday 2008 to be on the receiving end of the first annual shoe toss to benefit the falling fortunes of the local newspaper that employs him.

Sighting falling arches as cure for falling revenues, the plain dealer will set up a podium at their Superior Avenue Plaza which O'Brien will occupy while participants paying ten dollars per shoe will be allowed to toss their foot ware at hack O'Brien's physical form in a fashion resembling President George Bush's recent Iraq media dodge.

No limits will be placed on shoe sizes or features, though ice-skates, baseball shoes, and other athletic foot ware will be featured at a later event with plain dealer sports writers Bill Livingston and Bud Shaw occupying the podium.

The third shoe toss is a woman's only event with plain dealer editor Susan Goldberg and her pets, Regina Brett and Connie Schultz taking the podium to be on the receiving end of a woman's only shoe toss. The subject of stiletto heals is still under discussion, so check with the plain dealer before sharpening your shoe points.

It appears that this shoe toss should gather sufficient funds to help pay for the inflated salaries of the plain dealer employees participating as well as giving local readers a means of expressing their true feelings for these sycophants.

Plain dealer publisher Hammond Egger III will be O'Brien's alternate.

A run on used foot ware has already occurred in local thrift stores much to Egger's delight.

"I smell the stench of profit, finally!" Egger quipped.

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