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Wednesday, December 26, 2007

  • Boxing day 2007
  • And the streets of downtown Cleveland are as empty as those in Nagasaki Japan after the explosion of the atomic bomb sixty two years ago. No people are visible in either direction the length of East Ninth Street at eleven a.m. This traditional post Christmas holiday was always an exiting and busy day filled with commerce , folks visiting downtown Cleveland for a day of shopping and adventures. No more people visit this moribund, has been , forlorn place of emptiness and sorrow downtown Cleveland , Ohio today..... So nobody shows up for work the day after a holiday. Hmmm? The evil elves still collect the parking meters , and all of the homeless people are still working the edges of this sick hick town. ...Time was , and not so many years ago. Six to be exact , when we still could open our doors to an eager and grateful book loving public and not be insulted with the large sucking noise of this anal cavity evacuating that is empty downtown Cleveland this boxing day. Thank you politicians and civic players for helping create this loud annoying emptiness. Your pockets are lined , and we have empty streets to show for your larcenous efforts.........The little fat twerp from the make believe historic district office waddled out of his SUV at about noon , more likely than not just taking yet another air. For sake of familiarity we will refer to him as Mister Jablon Gutlessman . This character Gutlessman's nickname , as so many Clevelander's is "ski", in this case due to his love of the downhill winter sport of skiing. I can only figure that those employed in such an odious and distinctly pedantic career such as our companion Gutlessman , must take in great gulps of hot air as to possess the means to expel the digested hot air as propaganda or some form of mediocre press activity such as public relations..... This particular bird brain is so much a tool for the interests he does bidding for that he has forgot or misplaced whatever ethical and aesthetic senses he was once , if ever at all , in possession of while in his youth. Now middle aged , fat from rich food , pock marked from bouts with booze and beer , this lumpy form of distasteful human flesh , travels to the local ymca for a steam and clean , then off to play tag with the secretary and phone tag with everyone else save his handler.......... This twerp Gutlessman would get on his knees and beg if need be to gain approval of his corporate boss and political handler.....This same moron years before had walked about bragging about the great job and services he provided in renovating buildings in these supposed historic districts. Meanwhile the cranes disposed of plenty of the historic buildings that the district was to have contained by it's original plan designated by Laurence Halprin. Who in this clueless City is even aware of the Halprin plan ? The Halprin plan called for the renovation and preservation of the Historic central Market District , not it's slaughter and replacement with subsidized sports facility and a corporate welfare program to boot!... Gutlessman's pants were often covered with white stains from rich food stuffs and who knows what else.Yet another cruel joke played out upon the historic structures that once comprised an actual vibrant market district in downtown Cleveland , Ohio. Let us destroy this district and then refer to it as historic , who that is citizen in this poverty ridden , underpowered place will notice? Thus Gutlessman's work was done , and the stench of this political mess sold as wealth instead of the malodorous insider trading and crimes that in reality it will someday be noted as such when examined objectively years from now. Noted as a bleak period of local history for Cleveland, Ohio.....My childhood friend Lady O , appears this boxing day , requesting the usual kisses and the overall royal treatment. I am momentarily tempted to refer her to the historic district headquarters and the boot licker Gutlessman that represents the vested interests.... I bite my tongue instead.....Lady O has brought along her royal mutt , and we proceed to romp about the final digs of the former Leibing and Case remains located down the block.....We cross and arrive. " They Remained , Others Fled". My autobiography. Moses Cleaveland new what was up when he fled these parts shortly after his arrival here to survey the swamp in 1796 .Moses blew this rancid swamp off , and headed back East to civilization...... The Erie headstones are mostly kicked down now . The level of abuse now evident at all City cemeteries is criminal in it's neglect. Yet the corporate interests downtown still are on welfare , and collecting like a Las Vegas slot machine jackpot ringing it's bells and spitting cash while paying off.......The bush that Slipsy Junior and I buried the hawk is torn up now , and a naked splotch of soil stands in place of the bright flowering bushes foot print that once filled this garden space.....Lady O reads aloud a soliloquy of sorts concerning the lame and vacant nature of the surrounding streets , and notes the piles of automobile glass from the kicked in windows of those who believed in the notion of " free parking ' as advertised on the adjoining cemetery streets signage. Two hour free. Automobile glass replacement and hassles fixing up car . priceless. Priceless that is for the crooked parking lot gangs that stiff and bully the sappy visitors of this ill begotten place..... One more reason to flee , without thought of returning. Having sent for reinforcements , Joc O Sot's here for the long haul.....Lady O would make a grand companion for the historic district tool Mister Jablon Gutlessman. Always ready for the costumed spotlight , Lady O would float along to the tripe that passes for society in this flea bitten backwater burg. Say perhaps a simulcast of the induction of the rock n' roll hall of fame shenanigans , complete with ordinary catered food stuffs not even still in existence on more worldly menus. Qualifying here as hip and entertaining. Bacon wrapped shrimp , frozen egg rolls , spinach dip and the like. In these parts , hot mustard or wasabi are reserved for the ballparks and banquets only. The likes of Jablon Gutlessman could treat Lady O to a lively evening of the local coiffed up rock n' roll a list of local losers at play , which is actually no list at all , and as for play thank the heavens for Viagra and Geritol cocktails served at these cheezy events.....It is with great mystery I question the pride exhibited by da pd , and the local politicos in having the rock n' roll hall of fame gang host another , what do they call it?, er draft party?, gee whiz they had it here way back in 1997 , I should remember ? Oh yeah' . "Induction ceremonies". Almost forgot! So did the folks from New York City who would rather cross the river to some armpit new jersey town , than consider visiting the likes of this boondocks poisoned place of Cleveland , Ohio. You see New Yorkers and the music biz peoples have been voting with their feet for the last decade. Avoiding Cleveland , Ohio as a viable destination for obvious reasons. And we are supposed to be happy that the New York crowd will now visit here every three years , "or so" , to hold an induction ceremony? Give us our Lake front back and move that moth ridden leaky clothes closet , the rock n' roll hall of fame , out of this town already! And while we are on the subject of aesthetics , would someone explain to me what business John Melon Cougarhead has being inducted into the likes of the rrhf? I truly do appreciate the inclusion of Leonard Cohen , but Mister Cohen , the bard from Montreal, in my book would have been in the first group admitted , well ahead of most who proceeded him , and certainly not tainted by his entrance with the likes of John Melon Cougarhead ! A true independent sophisticated City would have told the New York rock and roll gang to kiss the City of Cleveland's ass and take a hike with your insipid clothes closet sometime ago. There is always hope that leadership will emerge and the sycophantic chorus of non native money changers tossed from our Lake Erie shores ! Book Selling Time ! Seeing that the New York City rock and roll mob avoids us in a physical nature , perhaps they will be kindness enough among them to purchase this perfect post Christmas Boxing Day gift. SHEPP'S NEW YORK CITY ILLUSTRATED , published in 1894 . This large and heavily illustrated volume is a perfect gift for any person with an interest in New York City history , and serves as a great photographic documentation of this truly American city near the turn of the nineteenth to the twentieth century. Plenty of people on those Gotham streets. Life , light , splendor. Opposite found here in muttsville , Ohio in 2007. We can hope and pray , though somehow I have a feeling this rancid place has yet to hit bottom. Stay tuned.Best wishes to all of our family and their friends this Holiday season. Thanks again to Kim and his great Family. The second shnecken arrived just after the last crumbs of the first were consumed. Remember kids , Moses Cleaveland left here after less than one year , and they even named the joint after him!

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    "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."

    ~ Groucho Marx

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    ~ Desiderius Erasmus


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