JIMI HENDRIX'S STAR SPANGLED BANNER TO COMMENCE THE 2009 PRESIDENTIAL INAUGURATION

A DECENT PROPOSAL

By Muggles 'I Voted for Nader in 2002' Greenwood

2008 (c) Copyright. Mr. Clovis Shea and Mr. Mark Stueve. All Rights Reserved.

It has been recommended by a Cleveland Hipster from the Baby Boomer Generation that the 2009 Presidential Inauguration should commence with Jimi Hendrix's 1969 Woodstock version of the Star Spangled Banner.

President Barack 'Voodoo Chile' Obama's 2009 Inauguration is going to be a crowded historic event that marks a profound change forward for this country. And, it is exactly as Michelle 'Foxy Lady' Obama described it, an accomplishment that this Nation can and should be proud.

The election of the first African-American President represents a national accomplishment the credit for which clearly rests in the arms of our Nation's contemporary youth. This is a fact that must be properly acknowledged during the Inauguration ceremony. Unfortunately, an MTV style after-party seems both uninspired and lacking, even if they hire Snoop Dog, Christina Aguilera, and Stevie Wonder for a performance of 'Signed, Sealed, and Delivered.'

If, however, they use Jimi Hendrix's Star Spangled Banner to commence the ceremony, it will not only serve to commemorate this significant historic moment, it will create a bridge of harmony between the elder and youth generations of this Country. Sure, Kid Rock and 50 Cent can co-MC the after-party. And Alicia Keys and Elvis Costello can serenade the Obama Family with a medley of Burt Bacharach and Nat King Cole songs. But, when it comes to our National Anthem, there is only one version that the entire Nation can really agree represents this Nation's past, present, and future, and that is Jimi Hendrix's 1969 Woodstock Festival version.

---

OH CLEVELAND, MY CLEVELAND

ROLL ON BIG CLEVELAND, YOU PHUCKING PLUMB

By Muggles 'I Wanna Be Like Chief Wahoo When I Grow Up' Greenwood

2008 (c) Copyright Mr. Clovis Shea and Mr. Mark Stueve. All Rights Reserved.

As I sat outside the train station of Cleveland, Ohio, waiting for the sun to rise to the west, I realized, 'wait ... what? hold on ... wait a minute! which direction is east?'

Just because I traveled to here from the east -no, correct that! I was traveling east -I came from the west -which means it is quite possible that I'd been looking to the east (thinking it's west) the whole time.

And that is my point exactly. I've always heard critical words used to describe Cleveland, specifically, and Ohio, in particular. However, I have come to believe that the City of Cleveland, itself, is a true testament of deep seated love. A deep seated love for something that has un-intentionally come to embody everything backwards -lopsided -and upsidedown.

This is a place that puts up neon lights reading 'Fifth Third Bank' on one of its seven silly skyscrapers and then fails (or refuses) to grasp entirely how someone ... not from here ... might fail to take it seriously ... or instead, find it almost comical.

This is a place that names its baseball franchise the 'Indians' and then uses a cavalry charge for its late inning rallies. This is a place that trades all of its best baseball players to league rivals and then expects its fan base to believe that a World Series victory sometime, either in this century or the next, is, perhaps, entirely plausible.

And so I continue waiting for the sunrise. Not knowing exactly in what direction to look, and thinking all the while, 'so this is how Moxie Axolotl and Old Mother Olmstead felt all those so many wonderful years ago.'

In my childhood, I always wondered what the hell was Moxie Axolotl talking about, anyway? And what exactly is a 'Whiz Bang?' But, when I dared to ask, she invariably gave me some round about answer that described an eclectic compilation of images and concepts that had little to nothing in common except for the fact that they were both unintentionally beautiful and unintentionally wierd. This is exactly how she described Cleveland. And, it brings me back to my original point (assuming, of course, that I actually had one).

Now, Moxie Axolotl always loved the Arcade. And she always made a point of re-acquainting herself with the building everytime whe came back from California to visit her beloved hometown. Me, on the other hand, I grew up in California, so I have a much more narrow minded view of art, and very little patience with the practice of admiring architecture. When I look at the Cleveland skyline and I see this historic landmark building, I can't help but to ask myself 'why would a city obscure the view of such a beautiful old building with a monstrosity skyscraper shit-ball replica of the empire state building?' [The answer being exactly what Moxie Axolotl would say, 'yes dear, we know, you're talking about two entirely different places and you're just a little bit confused.']

But, the real answer is simple. It is Progress, my friends. And not your ordinary typical everyday forward moving social progress, folks. No, this is a different breed of progress, entirely. This is a progress that defies all logic and prevails solely on the notion that if you keep doing the same thing wrong, over and over again, eventually you will wear down the laws of the universe and the logic of the cosmos until it reaches a point where everything you did will be right and exactly as you think it should because you convinced yourself that you planned it that way all along. In sum, it is progress because it says it is progress. It is, my friends, orchestrated chaos -without a conductor. Cleveland is the little train that could -but most likely won't, anytime soon, or in our lifetime; with the possible exception of some parallel universe where 'things are exactly as they seem' and Cleveland actually does 'Rock.'

But for its inspirational influence as a comedic one-liner, Moxie Axolotl's 'Whiz Bang,' its smog-filled majestic skyline, or its perplexing idiot wizardry, Cleveland, Ohio, is nothing inevitable and always something that some unknowing outsider (even someone such as myself -one generation removed) would easily mistake as being wrong. But, it isn't. And they're the ones who are wrong. And that's my point exactly, I think.

Cleveland is the little train that could have easily just given up. But it didn't, and it doesn't, because it can't. Even though it knows full well it is never going to make it up that hill. Shit, it could have packed it up and sent it back to the banks for liquidation so many times. But, it didn't. It could have simply set the lake on fire and called it a bay (on the North Coast, of course). But, it didn't. It could have accepted the fact that the Browns were probably better off in Baltimore. But, it didn't. I could have embraced the notion that the sunrises to the east, and not the west. But, I didn't.

Oh hell, why don't they just call it the 'Fifteenth Bank' and be done with it? Or better yet, how about the 'Fifth Reich Bank?' Well, the answer is simple. They don't because they didn't. And they didn't because they don't.

Besides, its like Old Mother Olmstead always said whenever Moxie Axolotl would start up with her California Prankster Shenanigans, "there are some things we just don't do here, in Ohio, dear."

Never mind the part where I ask the obvious question, 'what happened to the Third Third Bank or the Fourth Third Bank?' Because I already know that I won't get an answer. And I already know that there is no logical answer available. Because, the truth is simple: Nobody can ever conclusively prove to a Cleveland refugee, once removed, such as myself, that the sun won't maybe sometime actually rise in the west; and that the Browns won't always continue to win, maybe, except when it either seems inevitable or actually matters.

Why don't they call it 'Third World Bank?' Or better yet, reverse that and you've really got something 'World Third Bank.' In the early 1990s I drove past a Thai Restaurant named 'Phuc Yu.' I knew better to stop and eat, and Old Mother Olmstead never approved of such language. Besides, I've lived in California for over thirty years! I don't come to Cleveland for chinese cuisine!? I come here for its amazing autumn changing of the color of the leaves and its wild north coast western sunrises.

Oh phuc it. Sunrises are usually overrated anyway. Roll on Big Cleveland, you phucking plumb.

---

POLITICS: 2008 PRESIDENTIAL RACE

FINAL PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE: OBAMA 3 McCain 2



October 16, 2008



By Muggles 'I Don't Run For Nobody' Greenwood



2008 (c) Mr. Clovis Shea and Mr. Mark Stueve. All Rights Reserved.



In wednesday's third and final Presidential Debate Democratic Candidate Barack Obama defeated Republican Candidate John McCain in a close fought match by the final score of 3 to 2.



After taking an early lead, Obama was able to hold McCain's attempted late rallies off with solid defensive play and a strong left-handed bullpen. In contrast, McCain was plauged throughout with sloppy defense, committing several 'Ayres' in the field, and inconsistent right-handed pitching that was at times both wild and dangerous. After shutting down several of John McCain's late inning attempts to remount his campaign's earlier momentum, courtesy of the Palin Bounce, Obama sealed last night's victory with a Manny Ramirez two-out homerun deep into the right field bleachers.



When asked about Ramirez's late inning heroics, Obama stated, "That's just Manny being Manny."

---

EDITORIAL: CANDY APPLE ECONOMICS ON A CRASS COURSE

WHY I SUPPORT THE FINANCIAL BANKING CRISIS OF 2008





By F.U. MaLaudanum





Written and Submitted In Association with Muggles Greenwood Productions and Old Erie Street Bookstore





2008 (c) Copyright Mr. Clovis Shea and Mr. Mark Stueve. All Rights Reserved.





All this past week people have been asking me, "hey F.U.! What is your opinion on this current financial banking crisis?" Well, I tell them, "hey man, I'm all for it." As a matter of fact, I support this Credit Mess one-hundred and ten percent. And if I could afford to support it more, I might be willing to go as high as, say, one-hundred and sixty-five percent.





Now I tend to get a little skeptical when people ask me, "hey F.U.! Why are you in support of this current financial banking crisis?" Because I feel like maybe they're just looking to me for a free ride out to lunch. 'Do your own research, form your own opinion, don't just look to me for the truth.' Besides, don't people realize FOX News is on 24/7 these days?





But, I did a little soul searching the other night. And I came to the realization that there comes a time when certain Leaders of Industry, such as I, myself, and yours truly, F.U., have a personal obligation to share our unique understanding of the state of all things 'Credit' and all things 'Messy'. I call this the 'All things Credit and Messy Factor.' And the old saying, 'bring enough for everybody' really seems appropriate. And, especially, these days, 'with so many terrible problems in this world.'





LOCAL LENDING PRACTICES





A true understanding of global economics requires a foundational assessment of the basic precept of local banking standards and practices. One must never underestimate the value of a basic checking account. Besides, now that I've stopped threatening to take my money out of the bank, the ladies at the service desk are far less smug to me when I ask them to waive my overdraft fees.





During the Clintonian Howdy-Doody Economic Period of the 1990s (or the 'Okie-nomics' Period -as my friend on Wall Street so aptly calls it) people thought they were happy because they thought the were rich. But, really, we all remember how it was -and we weren't happy. Sure, the Yen was flowing. And the Fed Reserve was loose. But, it also meant spending three hours a day standing next to the paper shredding machine.





Well, now that the banking industry finds itself bent over its own proverbial barrel, well, I can tell you that yes, I might be able to allow myself to budget just a little bit more than my regular weekly allotment of happiness and glee. For instance, I like to take an hour or so in the middle of the day, sit back on my front porch and watch the local postman deliver my mail. "How's your back, Frank?" I might ask. And he'd reply, "much better now that we're having this crazy banking crisis." And then I'd ask, "any more of those annoying credit card offers in the mail today?" And he'd reply, "nope."





So, do you see how nice taking time to be part of a community can be? Which brings me to my second topic: Family Budgeting.





FAMILY BUDGETING





Family budgeting is less of a science and more an art, really. And back in the 1990s this country bought a lot of crappy art. Now, I've always been a 'less is more' kind of guy. Rich people understand this as a basic principle; but, poor people, not so much. Food tastes much better now that we're eating less of it. Retail spending as the measure of economic growth is not a financial planning strategy. But, it is a whole lot easier than saying no to teenagers.





Recent Studies have shown that Christmas is an over-rated holiday. And, if you disconnect Cable TV, your children are more likely to read a book. Besides, I recently discovered that the public library has a wonderful Video selection; Beta and VHS.





So, go ahead, do it! Re-embrace the old family traditions before they get lost forever. Take the whole family out for a Sunday afternoon drive in the country. Take them to the park and have a picnic. You know you can't afford to go out to eat anymore. You can only afford enough gas to use the car once a week anyway. And you remember what happened last time you told the wife and kids to use public transit to run their errands?





FORMING AN INVESTMENT STRATEGY





People with financial planning strategies often come up to me and say, "save, F.U., save." But, me, I say, "spend, baby, spend." I think when it comes down to it, and the brass rally monkey finally squawks, the rich people of this country are going to spend us out of this current financial crisis. And, with the right kind of encouragement and positive re-enforcement, I think they can do it. I'm not just talking about some spending free-for-all. I'm talking about a well-planned, well-administered, we-executed, consolidated spending strategy. For instance, when it comes to porkbarrel spending, I say 'buy sheep, sell deer.' Now that the FDIC insures up to $250K I can finally consolidate all of my Washington Mutual Checking Accounts into one. Some folks openly question this approach because they're concerned about Capital Gains Tax. When they ask me, "hey F.U.! What about Capital Gains Tax?" I tell them, "hey, no problem!" Besides, what is 'Capital Gains Tax,' anyway?





People say 'invest,' and I tell them, "hey buddy, I invest my money in F.U." Besides, if I had 401K I'd just spend it. I'd buy a house and then rent it to myself as a tax-shelter. These days, everytime I take a bag full of loose pennies down to the liqour store and I notice all the homeland security and law enforcement hiding behind dumpsters, peering through house windows, lurking around the back alleys, I realize our Gross National Product is over invested in copper. I don't trust gold. I've never been a big fan of the Bond Market. And since I recently started drinking much more, I've decided to invest in aluminum.





I'm not a heartless person. It hurts me too; having to watch all of these poor rich white folks suffer. But, I honestly feel that maybe this is for the best. And that we will all come out of this having gained something as better human beings. I don't believe in labeling people and I don't believe in labeling fiscal periods, either. Besides, you can't call this a Bull Market or a Bear Market if it keeps laying eggs like this.





MONEY = POLITICS + RELIGION





I have always believed that the key to happiness is three-fold: Belonging to the right church, being associated with winning politicians, and having the proper mixture of old money and new money. I call this the 'Wholly Trinity.' And it's never been stronger than it is today. I may be morally bankrupt, but at least I'm not financially bankrupt.





However, if, as some politicians say, this financial crisis is a 'toxic mess' then we should set up a series of International Transport Compacts with Russia and Canada and then direct Governor Palin to bury it in some Alaska landfill.





As for the enviro-eco-hippie-freaks who will complain -someone needs to explain to them the difference between a jazzy liquid groove and solid rock divestiture. With our future commodities in agriculture off-set in hard rock mining options we are free to place our liquidity into a further jazzy groove.





We gotta get our Records straight, then we can buy more Books. Personally, I think we can offset an over-exposed Euro by doubling up on reds and then re-investing in a reliable R&B Fund independently certified as holding proper Motown Credentials. But hey, that's just me.





Besides, now that the Democrats control the White House, the House, and the Senate, it's only a matter of time before we re-build a new national financial surplus through the sale of Nuclear Arms to Iran, Cuba, and Venezuela.





In conclusion, let me say this, when people ask me, "hey F.U.! Do you feel happy?" Well, I tell them, "Bears shit in the woods ... and I know Bull when i hear it ... How can I not be Happy?"

---

Steve Ferguson R.I.P.

Steve Ferguson born December 10, 1943 in Knoxville , Iowa died in his sleep with his loyal cat Lena by his side this June 29Th at his residence on Cleveland's near west side. A solid human being of large frame and four square hard working and thick shouldered features , with ever present bifocals riding down his nose Steve was the former editor of the great swamp erie dada boom underground newspaper during the late nineteen sixties , contemporary and friend of poets d.a. levy and Tom Kryss . Mimeograph artist . Water colorist.Creative artist and writer of great gift. Fond of playing piano for the elderly , and at weekly Church services. Ferguson was last employed at the Dave's Supermarket on Bridge Avenue and West 26Th Street , where he worked in the Bakery department. The oldest of six boys who were raised in a close knit family in Cherokee , Iowa , in the 1950's . Steve often pined aloud for the home cooking and daily fresh pies created by his Grandma Elsie's at her Cherokee , Iowa Dinner Bell Cafe. Steve worked here as a young man , and once intimated to me that he never forgot the kindness and simple nature of those days which he numbered among the best times of his life. Nor did he easily forget his radio roots , and often turned to WHO Radio AM 1040 , Des Moines when reception in Cleveland was possible after dark. Steve was a regular at the Wednesday afternoon poker games at Old Erie Street Book Store for many years and was always an honest active player as regular as rain. It was ta these games that Steve bonded with my Uncle Doc Hucek , who hired Steve one summer to paint his one story home. Doc remarked that Steve was the most intelligent man that he had ever had the occasion to meet , and was impressed with his ability to work the New York Times crossword rapidly , and amazed at Steve's capacity for unfiltered camel cigarettes , and plenty of vittles. Both smokes and food being part of Steve's Tom Sawyer like bargain with Doc along with a ridiculous tiny amount of money [ thirty five dollars I believe for a week's work in the year 1990] that he asked for his time. Steve explained it to me as a desire to spend time with Doc , who being born in 1904 reminded him of those old timers that used to warm stools at The Dinner Bell Cafe back in Cherokee, Iowa. Steve served as editor on the first underground newspapers that I wrote articles for , as well as a harsh critic and often thorny muse. Many people took offense to Steve's straight forward ways. I always enjoyed his candor , and we never spent much time picking bones due to this meeting of minds. Recently I had taken to visiting Steve at his place of work on Wednesdays and talking over plans to go fishing at a farm pond or Lake Erie. He worked hard at his labor at Dave's market , and was fond of telling me his joy in having a roof over his head , a meal in his belly , and the good graces of playing piano a few times a week. Tom Ferguson and James Ferguson two of his brother's that I have had the pleasure in meeting on prior occasions showed up at the book store door today , at exactly the old appointed hours for poker playing bearing the news of Steve's demise.Ten years ago at Uncle Doc's for a New Years football afternoon , I cooked two ducks and all the trimmings. We were eating along at the roast birds and as I stood up to fetch more gravy i felt Steve's hand circle my wrist in a rather strenuous fashion. He wanted more duck gravy , and it was all I could do to wrest the gravy boat away from him long enough to make it the stove for more. Later our mutual friend Sloop John B , quipped that " gravy must be considered a beverage in Iowa". Having enjoyed a friendship for nearly forty years with Steve his passing is yet the end of another chapter of local history. We enjoyed intellectual discourse as well as fishing , golfing , and poker.Listening to his tales concerning his late cat Moses to whom he was quite attached was always a pleasure .Steve was a true character in many ways and will be missed.

---

Christmas past, Christmas present

Three major department stores still opened their door's daily downtown in downtown Cleveland in 1980. We had earlier positioned our book store on East Ninth Street near the corner of Huron Road , within a quick walk of Public Square, home of May Company and Higbee's, and Playhouse Square which was home to the flagship Halle's Department Store. All three of these king sized multiple floored department stores served as " anchor stores" for downtown shoppers. Many of us small retailers hoped to complement these diverse retail giants offerings , by merit of displaying for sale our unique specialties, and in turn found some success in the crowds of shopper's drawn downtown to the big three department stores..... Our early years as booksellers required us to reinvest our receipts into expanding our inventory in classic mom and pop fashion. We did not shop often at the downtown department stores , save the holiday season for family gifts , preferring thrift stores and estate sales for our personal needs. Fresh food and groceries were purchased at the near bye Central Market , and a number of small ethnic groceries that were neighbors in the Central Market district. Life was simple .The USA was in a period of economic downturn in the early 1980's , and I remember the meager sales of those early years as we worked hard to establish our business. Frugal and prudent decisions made then ultimately paid off in increased trade and expansion into and through the 1990's. Success was enjoyed , hard work rewarded.............Holidays downtown were an enjoyable season until the closing of the three department stores , and the destruction of the Central Market district . The Central Market was replaced with two larger than scale sports stadiums and in turn attracted the cheap drunken crowds who now barf and lunge about downtown in place of the retail shoppers.......Though we closed our book stores doors a few years ago to the public due to the inclement retail conditions due to the poor planning of downtown we retain great memories of all the many holiday seasons that we were open and the fine customer base we served prior to the retreat of downtown into the drunk zone that it is today. We also remain in our now crowded digs of all these many years , without much hope in ever seeing a true revival of any activity here that resembles Christmas past. We ship a fair amount of books around the world every week. Some outsiders would say that is great and peachy keen , though it does not come close to the function of hand selling books to eager clients. This business of retail book selling downtown is not possible in any event due to the time management and size constraints placed upon us while we service our internet / mail order book business. Receipts are tougher to lash together into profit these days , and it would be nice to have a retail option downtown and increase our sales , though no reasonable space is available to us at this time. The formula of " cheap rent" as a bottom line requisite is a very real consideration for any party engaged in the buying and selling of used items such as books and antiques. Rents are no longer " cheap" downtown , and thus no new retail activity is found around these parts today. All the hot air and ballyhoo pitchmen and development big shots that paint downtown as an up and coming place of business seem to forget that a start up retail business needs affordable rent, or the ability to purchase a building and invest as incentive . No incentives are given to the smaller interested concerns , so downtown Cleveland remains void of new retail start ups save the greasy food and cheap booze variety that resemble the hellish drunken and debauched vision of " Potterville" as portrayed in Frank Capra's ultimate Christmas film It's A Wonderful Life"...... Crime downtown is another concern. To the naive visitor attracted to the "free" ,two hour parking down the block near the Erie Street Cemetery , remeber you get what you pay for. Plenty of those attracted to this free parking get their automobile window glass kicked out , and the salable contents of their automobile swiped , or their car stolen. And this is merely property crime. Plenty of homicides occur downtown as well. As do assaults , rapes , and armed robberies. Do not take my word for it , just monitor the television news or inquire via the hard statistics gathered by the United States Government. If you want a pretty and cleaned up fictional tale that downplays the true crime statistics downtown inquire with one of the downtown boosterism organizations that have sprouted up like warts in these parts. Professional liars telling prospective clients convenient and professional lies...... And do not forget the scam known as daily or event parking downtown. Downtown Cleveland's physical footprint is largely comprised of surface parking lots , and the bandits that run them are not opposed to charging whatever the market will bear to the rural or suburban visitor that might be in need of parking their automobile. Twenty to twenty five dollars per vehicle seems the going rate these days for any event of consequence downtown , whether near Playhouse Square or for some sports shindig. Only the minor league hockey games get a cheaper rate , due only to low attendance.Many of these parking lot " opperators" collect the customers monies and then depart , leaving all safety concerns to the party they collected parking funds from. Easily the largest single negative influence in downtown Cleveland in need for correction is the scam known as surface parking. The ugly surface parking lot must be reformed or go away all together before any positive retail growth can occur ! ..... We derive some joy now from keeping a small stack of childrens books near our front door , and " gifting" some of these volumes to potential visitor's to our book store that we have to turn away. Always asking parents permission , we prefer to give a children's book to a young visitor , and see the actual appreciation of receiving a book as a gift. Most of us as youngsters learned to read via some form of children's book , and it is nice to know that this is one tradition the internet has yet to interfere with. This simple exercise never seems to fail to produce a smile on the child's face , and I hope that someday we will find larger quarters and be able to open a retail space once again. Right now , the corporate interests have taken over most of what was once a vibrant interesting downtown Cleveland , replacing it with fewer , though more odious , and certainly more expensive choices ground level. I remember an early Christmas eve thirty odd years ago just after opening our book store , walking a few blocks to the Italian food store near the Central market at East Fourth Street and Huron , which is now an empty lot, and being so grateful to have sold enough books earlier in the day to purchase the meager gifts of dried fruits , cheeses , salamis , bagged pistachio nuts , imported confections, and jugs of wine to provide as gifts to friends and family. Did not have much time or funds to provide with , so this unique food store was both business neighbor and a friendly down to earth place to shop. Barrels of olives adorned the entrance , and the rich odors of ripe cheese , cured meats , and fragrant herbs gave this humble merchants space a quiet dignity that is lost in the marketing mania of today's business world downtown. These places and events are but memories today , and I can only hope for a complete meltdown of the current sad circus that is downtown today , so that from the rubble might rise again a spirit of a saner future. Book Selling Time! Only one downtown Cleveland Department store really sticks out in my mind as worthy of a book treatment of it's history , and you can purchase a copy of Christpher Wood's HALLE'S MEMOIRS OF A FAMILY DEPARTMENT STORE from us for a great Christmas gift. Wood's large and illustrted history traces the Halle retail concern from it's inception as a furrier near Public Square in the late nineteenth century to it's sale to Marshall Field's and eventual closing in 1982. Seems just like yesterday! Best wishes to my Family , John and Kim

---

Cyber Monday

My friend Kim's ears must be ringing. I no sooner mentioned the word schnecken and one of these buttery loving hand-crafted sweet dough cinnamon raisin breads appear.

Thanks to the folks at the Virginia Bakery downstate for baking up these beauties.

This kind treat given to us by Kim and wrapped with his imaginative collage of color and black and white portraits of Sidney Greenstreet, Jack Johnson , Otto Graham ,Don Mossi, A Mexican masked wrestler, Sonny Liston in a hoodie , 'Harmonica' Frank Floyd, Willie Pep, Lou Groza ,Luke Easter, Humphrey Bogart , Tris Speaker , Peter Lorre , The famous ' dingus' , Joe Perry, 'Senor' Al Lopez ,Early Wynn , Rocky Marciano , Herb Score , Archie Moore , Roy Campanella , Cookie Gilchrist , Joe Nuxhall , and a few more figures inclusive of a spitting mad desert rodent whose resemblance to a middle-linebacker is uncanny.

Kim pasted all of these images on one very colorful and entertaining gift wrap box which inside contains his gift of a wax paper wrapped schnecken from Virginia Bakery.

A kind human being, Kim is old-school humble, and a decent family man who enjoys life and a few unique hobbies.

What surprises me more often than not upon receiving a kind parcel from Kim is that I recognize most of the people he has chosen to travel with as kind craft paper hitchhikers to guard the bakery, book or disc that he sends.

Very entertaining and easy on the eye.

I never discard one of Kim's unique wrapper art works, though if you were to ask Kim if he was an artist he would more likely than not demur.

I was so surprised at receiving the mail today, after not picking up any mail since before Thanksgiving, and finding a schnencken aboard that I chuckled aloud with glee at the serendipity of the universe is capable of. Write about something one day, shows up the next.

Food for thought?

Kim included on his wrapper art an old comic bookmark image that we used to advertise Old Erie Street Bookstore some years ago, prior to the advent of Cyber Monday and Black Friday.

Black Friday was simply referred to as the day after Thanksgiving for the majority of my life, and always a great retail day for sales at our book store.

This comic image shows the glowing face of anticipation of a customer inside OESB his palms open and face smiling looking at a glowing book amid a stack of volumes.
Serendipity!

No longer am I witness to this retail activity within our closed downtown bookstore.

Nobody comes to downtown Cleveland to shop any longer, and those daily workers that are able to take off, never work the day after Thanksgiving.

I did attempt to visit down town to retrieve the mail on Black Friday, though found the mail drop locked at noon.

So it goes in today's inclement climate and hostile workplace known as downtown Cleveland, Ohio 2007!

The post Thanksgiving Friday was always a favorite for the good run of years we enjoyed at Old Erie Street Book store from 1976 to 2001. Realizing that other cities might provide a better environment for an open book store such as ours, I keep an ear to the ground, and no longer entertain any false illusions concerning any positive reform occurring in downtown Cleveland.

Yet another season of lager louts, insipid suburban trash vomit creatures, not to mention the usual corrupt self interest gangs of suits letting what’s left of Cleveland's downtown go to hell in a hand cart.

We had a great run!

Old Erie Street Book Store did not leave. The City of Cleveland did a vanishing act instead, and the fat lady has yet to yodel! Last one out please turn out the lights.

Cyber Monday however is a different story.

A gray gulag vision greets dawn. I close my eyes and click on the Brasiliana tape of warm Portuguese voiced Brazilian music, roll over and go back to sleep.

The mambo and samba beats are the only musical cure for these cold rainy seasons of autumn and winter in the post industrial hitherlands of Ohio.

120 days of darkness are upon us, and let the warm psychedelic samba riffs that leap with a glow from Os Mutantes rule the airwaves.

Bossa Nova rules!

'Bat Macumba eh', eh' Bat Macumba Ola'.

The five albums released by Os Mutantes, from 1968 to 1972 remain among my all-time favorites, and we do not need to go into anything further concerning the underwear drawer emptied into I.M. Pei’s joke on our lakefront, just know that I have magic markered a nice round rock with the words OS MUTANTES, and they are getting into the rock n' roll hall of fame via catapult or sling shot this coming spring!

So bring on the mighty fecundity of cyber Monday, the internet version of black Friday.

Oh boy, can't wait to get downtown and check the e-mails for orders. Er, one order alas is all to be found. Such is the fickle business of bookselling in the year 2007.

We list near 20,000 fairly interesting titles for sale on three internet sites, and we receive but one order on cyber Monday. Should have stayed in bed!

Schnecken worth the show, and now is the time to return home for a warm cup of cafe noir and a slice of the schnecken.

Bookselling Time!

Slim's old sage M.F.K. Fisher is more forgotten today than remembered in this testosterone fueled era of competitive cooking.

We offer a sure fire cure for any of the ills cyber Monday may deal you in her WITH BOLD KNIFE & FORK. 318 great pages, including 140 plus recipes. Unfortunately no recipe for Schnecken. Better ask Kim for that one, or get lucky and find the location of the Virginia Bakery.

Thanks to all!

---

Of knives and other sharp items

Water in Lake Erie recedes. Giving away ground. As well the declining corporate music business , and it's bosom friend in the soft entertainment industry , your basic dead tree and typeset companions in the publishing fields of books , slick magazines , tabloids , and the doubtful American daily newspaper are going the way of the model t ford. And this is the dire news that is never really told by the twin industries that spin their fortunes from nickels , dimes , and bold faced lies. Fiscal bad news is perceived as not fit to print , lest it mess up the hair of it's financial agents and investors , or wake up further the smoldering public sentiment for fairness and honesty in reporting which is immediate , free , and far more interesting to consume today in the streaming on line sphere that many of our lives are lived within today.///////// Suffering double digit fiscal erosion every year the recorded music end of the entertainment industry is in a free fall. Technological savvy Internet users and a diminishing market are the one - two combination that stagger the kneecaps , causing audible knocking under it's hood and the dead timber bunch sent head over heals to oblivion and beyond. All right, I did not go for the obvious play on words , dead timbre , though I sneak it in 'hear' for my own amusement. As for the temporary reprieve granted the contemporary version of the daily newspaper , most will be but a printed dead tree memories in the scant space of a few years to come. It is an impossible task to read the local version of newspaper mediocrity , the plain dealer , and derive anything of intellectual value or stimulation . No candor , wit , or objectivity spring forth from the keypads of it's " writers" , these days. A dumbed down amateur air seems to be the flavor of it's style book , the lack of any in depth reporting is painfully obvious , daily, weekly , and monthly , year in year out. I do like the editorial cartoonist who works on the p.d. op-ed page , Egan the fishing and racetrack writer on the sports page as well, Photographer Lynne Ischaey , and some others employed are talented in the limited aesthetic fashion of news gathering and it's dissemination conspired by the business and political goals of the cleveland plain dealer and it's companion lower tier newspapers that dot the print journalism landscape of a USA today universe. Even if you posses meager artistic talents , as most of us do, you are apt never to have a means of using them to anywhere near potential while employed by a contemporary news or media concern such as the Cleveland plain dealer. Pathetic. The syndicated news efforts are far better than the locally gathered variety. I prefer to read quality 'stringers' such as Christopher Maag , write about Cleveland , Ohio news via the pages of The New York Times , than the Cleveland plain dealer version. In the New York Times a higher level of authentic news and opine appear in a news article , and a better " style book" demands better writing and reporting of news. On the positive side , today's online edition of the plain dealer featured a one minute streaming video news clip of chef Michael Symon's coronation as iron chef. A tip of the high white hat to Michael , and in the realm of Cleveland plain dealer front pages news for the past two days which I did not read , proved all I needed to view and understand of this culinary circus event. Perfect! This clip from the plain dealer online version is a good example of why modern streaming news is today's authentic news , and these clips will only get shorter and more pared down as the attention spans and demands upon future humans space available within their collective minds is an issue to chew upon. Minimal perfection of the light weight news of the passing hour , minute , second , fractional seconds. With the advent of the hand held video and photography devices , add stroke of a keypad , upload and bingo instant news. The textual efforts in the online plain dealer proved succinct but unreadable as news , so minute in content or news value as if to make television news appear to contain more viable content. A universal law should exist prohibiting the use of the words television and news in the same sentence . Yet the plain dealer online " breaking news" reads as if the news offered was compressed and composed for the eyes of a third grade child. Leaving the classified ads section as the only reason to purchase the plain dealer and I would have nothing to do with the p.d. at all if it were not for this advertising section . Far better to spend the extra .075 cents daily and buy the New York Times . Possessing a nose for news and a more discerning pall ate , the New York Times , International Herald Tribune , or any other well written and edited newspaper left standing in the world today printed in the English language is more to my taste . The New York Times , though not without many faults and biases , provides a more discerning and erudite printed news flavor , and is closer in aroma and strength to the coffee I imbibe every morning . Few and far between these days these newspapers of worthy note , and the p.d. is merely a near extinct old species fish , washing up on a dying lakes shore in a diminishing market of readers and consumers , and now is forced to compete a little leaner every year in terms of it's new hires , and looks to it's corpulent staff of writers for meat and is given cheap hamburger in it's printed place. The politics of this newspaper are well documented by my old Friend Roldo Bartimole in his well written , Point Of View columns over the past forty years , and it is due to Roldo's fine and dogged efforts to keep the politics and goals of the "pee dee " as actual news and under public scrutiny that I have an appreciation for the low aims and skulduggery that the current plain dealer represents in Cleveland , Ohio. ///////// File transfers and digital downloads are the death knoll for the recorded music business , or a return to it's budget origins . What once was a physical salable product in the form of a vinyl record album , compact disc , or magnetic tape of recorded music is now a .99 cent musical download and the equivalent of a Internet jukebox that allows the dollar to spit back to the user a metaphorical penny to be chalked up against the .098 cents due for the tune purchased and downloaded. The recorded music industry started over a century ago , selling single tune cylinder recordings and then .78 r.p.m. recorded discs for dimes to dollars, and this same music business in one hundred years time has returned to it's low rent origins in a modern 21st century market that demands custom designed immediate gratification via it's fickle custom blending digital consumers. ///////////////////// Factor in the effects of the hyperbole merchants employed by these industries in public relations , advertising , and the business of ballyhoo, vitriol , and blather created by the newspaper and entertainment industries . No wonder today's critical , picky youngsters will have nothing much to do with this coven of bad actors and professional liars. Witching hour approaches for these flawed and vulnerable industries and those employed by them. Heads are rolling wholesale , and add to this fray a National writer's strike , and let those left standing sort events out. The media ship is lilting in it's traditional safe harbor waters , and taking on water fast. The propaganda newspaper merchants and electrical entertainment peddlers will be moving in together on some low rent flop where their .99 cent and .50 cent products will die a lonely corporate death. Good riddance! BOOK SELLING TIME! Ernest Hemingway FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS . First American edition. Eleven eleven is the chosen day to celebrate Veteran's Day in the United States Of America. I am old enough to remember the hoards of street seller's with pin on red poppies for sale , to benefit the less than fortunate homeless or otherwise suffering veterans of previous American wars , and all news sources that disclose that a significant number of homeless men in these United States of America today are veterans of the Vietnam War. As a nation we treat our pets better than our less than fortunate veterans and homeless human beings. Many others homeless in America are either mentally ill , handicapped or crippled in some fashion. Find space in your life for these fallen fellow humans. The season is upon us to find space in our collective and individual hearts for others not as fortunate. Spend some of our most precious commodity , time , in your busy life to help provide some basic needs and attention to one who is less fortunate. Take a tip from my pal John , who sent me a pair of boat sized tennis shoes for my old baseball pal James to wear. A random act of kindness , that will be appreciated by this still worthy human life that deserves better than he receives , and does not complain . You will not have to look far these days. Poverty is a scourge upon this land , and the mounting fiscal woes that foreclosures and a society that chooses to live in great collective denial,debt , and fiscal peril occurs will certainly produce more casualties , not to mention the impending shake out in the entertainment and dead tree industries. We here at Old Erie Street Bookstore soldier on selling books the best we can in a world market where demand is far out stripped by supply , and the pressure price wise is downward not up. A second hand player in the entertainment and dead tree industry , I give book selling another decade or so prior to it's extinction, save some unique printed items that might appeal to antiquarians and art mavens. The Hemingway offered is without a dust jacket and not a top collector's grade edition , though I expect it has good value based on the prices of comparable new volumes of fiction or literature today. That we will sell this volume prior to the Year's impending calendar end is likely. Be the first on your block to take a Ernest Hemingway first edition as your office party or retirement gift for than newly unemployed person in the entertainment or news industry.////////// Culinary Bites! My old pal and original skillet man Slim , who burns porcine hash and slings root beverages at his public chowhouse and science project down Kentucky way , aptly named SLIM'S, and just a tad North of the queen city of the South and I both agreed , Michael Symon is the new iron chef. News only because we both figured it out well before it was filmed ,Slim and I both concurred at the announcement of the series some months back that Michael was to win.Results are in and no place to place a bet! Sounds like a new sports book with all the odds and evens factored in , should be established for the outcome of future culinary match ups for those who wish to wager on such competitions.Make note , I only mention this culinary crowning of the victor in the name of a sports championship coming to Cleveland. Cleveland beats New Orleans in the culinary world series . " Hey Rube!". " That's Entertainment".

---

Bookselling sure has changed

in many diverse ways since opening my first used and rare bookstore in 1976. Time was when opening the door for business and having enough desirable inventory on hand to sell to those passing by was enough to earn a decent living.

Downtown Cleveland was still quite alive throughout the 1980's and most of the 1990's, before retail stopped on a dime a few years prior to the dawning of the 21st century.

Advertising in the telephone book, word of mouth, and good customer service all helped grease the wheels of commerce, and allowed us growth and stability in this time honored trade of bookselling.

On the rare book side of the ledger, only a few hundred of us antiquarians plied our trade in the United States of America, and we knew each other well enough for sizable purchases amongst ourselves to transpire with a handshake or telephone call.

Good luck today in this matter.

The internet has managed to make every last rag picker, and housewife a budding A.S.W. Rosenbach or William Targ, and with no training or apprenticeship of any sort these parasitical neophytes are instant booksellers.

The temerarious nature of these part-time, house bound biblio-peddlers is horrifying to one who has spent the better part of a lifetime paying on a lease and considering bookselling a career, not a profitable hobby.

I go on record as supporting any person who possesses the temerity to start up an open door bookstore in this day and age.

This bricks and mortar approach to bookselling was always an option, and the charm and value of the education an open door shop surely offset any of the rewards garnered by the "specialist" or catalog only booksellers working from their homes.

The postwar Cleveland, Ohio of my youth had a great downtown bookselling community, and the seven to ten odd bookstores that it was comprised of formed enough cache to draw clients from the surrounding area to around the world in their day.

When I was employed by one of these firms, Kay's Bookstore, in 1970 we had open evening hours on Mondays and Thursdays, and customers did visit and shop. Publix Book mart was another fine open shop, and like Kay's had an interesting mixture of used, antiquarian, and new books for sale.

An assortment of used stores existed in lower rent areas of downtown, and a few true world class antiquarian book concerns existed street level as well. Other American cities had similar bookstores, and a great days fun was often spent visiting these retail stores for fun and profit.

A great way to finance a small vacation or trip abroad was to match one's book knowledge against the field of play consisting of a bookseller's open store and its contents, often resulting in the acquisition of a gem or two and a tidy profit.

Needless to say the internet has changed this style of book gathering once and for all.

The internet has spawned a new variety of biblio-sleuth, one who flits about with a battery run hand held device, checking titles and bar coded ISBN numbers to the physical book, waiting for the machine to spit back it's fiscal verdict while the party holding the device possesses no more of an iota of knowledge or care for it's content save the monetary result.

It is due to this prevalent modern book hunting climate that I no longer have much interest in opening the door to this bookstore to such sordid characters, and when I do see these hand held devices in the paws of their holders in a public space I am moved towards nausea of a physical and existential nature.

I encountered an old colleague the other morning and the subject of library discard sales came up in conversation.

She mentioned that she had thought of me when attending one of these affairs recently and she was told by the holder of one of these afore said hand held devices that he was reserving a large trove of books running the length of four six foot tables for this electronic scrutiny while they volumes in question while the books were still stacked below their for-sale tables, unsold and just for this greedy biblio morons scrutiny.

I no longer attend these sales due to the fact that such scavenger beasts would not fare very well in my opinion, and push come to shove, I would find his position of review before purchase unacceptable and act accordingly.

The other reason not to attend such functions as these library sales is that most all of the offerings are pre-picked and purchased by the volunteers who work them. Ditto, the thrift stores, charitable sales, flea markets, and most of the other second hand public sale repositories.

We have a plethora of books to choose from and make available for sale, and prefer selling books to buying books these days.

-- Bookselling time. --

Seeing that the basis of this article concerns commerce and economics, we are proud to offer a copy of one of the most important books of twentieth century intellectual thought by Freidrich Hayek, THE ROAD TO SERFDOM.

Don't take my word concerning this book's importance; both the New York Public Library and The London Times listed this book as one of the 100 most influential books of the twentieth century.

The copy we offer is neatly signed by Hayek, and would prove to be a significant addition to any bibliophile's library.

Hats off to all you brave booksellers who open your doors to the public and have the verve to earn a living the old fashioned way.

The Hayek title we offer seems to mirror to some extent the fiscal climate of the contemporary bookseller. The modern bookseller is serf to the internet and a percentage partner, often only by choice of the internet outfit who steers the sale towards the bookseller.

One of the reasons I choose bookselling instead of another career, was the freedom it offered, the daily stream of knowledge it provides, and the laissez faire nature of commerce that it provided prior to the internet.

Chances are great that due to the rather ugly nature of life in downtown Cleveland, Ohio these days, and the sad and pervasive poverty that afflicts the citizenry we will not be opening our doors to the hand held devices of the modern biblio-putz and putzettes of the world anytime soon.

Old Erie Street Bookstore remains on the sidelines, waiting to get called onto a level playing field in a city that is choking to death from it's excessive bad planning, and inability to hold it's brighter youth or attract any venture oriented entrepreneurs due to the greed and stupidity of the current roster of bad civic actors and greasy politicians that pose about town telling their glorious self serving tales.

Best wishes to John and Kim, all my Family and you the faithful customer who has helped me learn and survive to date in this bookselling trade.

---